Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Cell Phone Doesn't Want Me to Have a Social life

It has been a long, long time. But, here I am. Again.

I discovered today, from various people, that I may not have recieved all the texts that have been sent to me or the texts I have sent have not arrived at their specified recipiant. I don't know how long this chaos has been going on. But, it is wreacking havoc on my social life. Just when I thought I was getting blown off by numerous people I discover that they have indeed been sending me texts. My phone just wants me to be depressed and get 100 cats.

So, you know what I did? I taught that phone a lesson and took it down to the Verizon store and traded it for a bright new shiny one. And proceeded to send texts to various people I am sure think I am uber fabulous and would never blow me off. Their first question "Where have you been?" Every last one of them. How bizarre is that?? And then it gives me a tiny glimmer of hope that HE didn't actually blow me off. That he didn't actually get my texts or maybe I didn't get his. I know it is really wishful thinking. But maybe it is a sign... Am I really that stubborn to not contact him and find out? Or maybe I just don't want to know the truth. Cause I have the feeling it will hurt. I evidently prefer to fantisize about some romantic tale of our paths crossing again and realizing there was a misunderstanding. A girl can dream? And I do. A lot!

So, who knows what to do. For the time being I sit here and keep telling myself. "He would contact you" But then, what if years from now I find out that he thought I was blowing him off. It really is very Nocholas Sparks novalish. I am such a romantic.

So, here goes, I am admitting "I miss him!" but I am too chicken shit to tell ANYONE and especially to act on. How pathetic is that, ya know? So, I try to occupy myself with other men. But, you know, it just doesn't feel right? So, then I wonder... When will I really be over him? Pathetic me thinks!